Several weeks ago I started having these thoughts…of unrest. And these thoughts just continued to dwell in my mind. Then I started seeing posts on Facebook and Twitter that hinted that other people might be having these same kinds of thoughts…this same unrest. And then on Monday an author sent me a free link to her new book and this unrest is all I can think about. This struggle in my mind that I’ve completely missed the point. This tension that leads me to realize that it’s not about me, it’s not about how good of a mom or wife I can be, it’s not about how many nutritious meals my family can eat at our dinner table, it’s not about being a good employee, or going to church every Sunday, or belonging to a church that puts on exciting services that I’m thankful to experience, it’s not about keeping a clean house, or getting out of debt, or reading my Bible, or memorizing 80 million Bible verses. It’s not about praying before each meal, it’s not about posting the right verses on Facebook. It’s not about not drinking, it’s not about watching my tongue, it’s not about only listening to Christian music.
It’s about Jesus. It’s about loving my neighbor. It’s about caring for the orphans and the widows. It’s about comforting the sick and raising up the broken-hearted. It’s about giving so much that it hurts and then giving some more.
A few months ago I posted my goals for becoming a Proverbs 31 woman. I still agree 100% that I should strive to attain these goals. But in that post is this little nugget: “Most of the goals on my list are pretty focused on my family and aren’t going to hugely impact the rest of the world. I think that an outward focus to change the world is important, but for me, that starts in my own home. My first priority in this life is God, my second priority is my husband, my third priority is Jordynn. I think my list highlights that these are my priorities. At some point, my hope is to expand these goals to include more of the rest of the world, but right now I think I have enough to focus on in my own home.”
If my first priority in life is God, then maybe living for him (like him) should really be my first goal. God’s says the most important things are to love God and love your neighbor. God doesn’t say that our priorities should be to read his Word, attend lots of Bible studies and church services, memorize lots of verses, and teach your children to pray. He says feed the hungry, clothe the poor, take care of the fatherless, meet the needs of the widows. I’d like to inform the girl that wrote the above quote “Hey, did you know that 25,000 people died of starvation today? Did you know that the family down the street has worn the same clothes for the last week because that’s all they have? Do you realize that people are dying on the streets of your own city of hypothermia while you complain about how cold your 73 degree house feels today? Maybe keeping your house spotless isn’t all that important after all.”
God had a little talk with me the other day. The paraphrased version went something like this, “I think it’s wonderful that you’re teaching Jordynn her numbers and letters. The prayers and songs you teach her are music to my ears. When you speak to her with peace in the midst of your frustration she is learning to control her own emotions. The stories she learns at school and church are things she’ll remember all her life, just like you do. But none of this teaches her how to BE Jesus to the world. Please continue to teach her these things, but remember the most important thing she needs to know is how to love Me and to love others, to love this world that is hurting, to love the least of these. She learns by example. I use my people, you, your family, your friends, your daughter to show my love. You are my hands and feet, through my Holy Spirit I can lead you to love others just like I would. But you have to be willing. You have to listen. You have to know that this is my purpose for you, and for Jordynn. To love all of My creation by your actions, not just your words.”
You see I’m one of the richest people in the world, and my guess is that you are too. We tithe, we pray for others, I serve in the Children’s ministry, we volunteer during “work days” at church, we donate during the various drives that our church holds throughout the year to benefit the less fortunate, and I like to tell myself that this is enough. These things allow me to feel like I’m doing what Jesus would do. I have no doubt that these things matter, but when I’m honest with myself I realize that as one of the richest people in the world, I could probably do a heck of a lot more. I realize that if Jesus lived my life, He would do a lot more. He would give more, he would serve more, he would care more. He wouldn’t wait for the next event to come up at church that fit nicely into His busy schedule, he’d meet the needs of those He saw each and every day. He wouldn’t just give his 10%, he’d give the clothes off his back, the shoes off his feet.
So I have no idea where I go from here. The unrest is still there. The tension is strong. You won’t see me sell our house and cars and all our possessions next week and give it all away, my child still needs a roof over her head, I’ve still gotta go to work. I’m not going to hand wads of money to every person holding a sign on the street corners in my city, there are tons of them and I don’t have that much money. I honestly don’t know where to start. So I’ll pray and I’ll listen and I’m pretty sure that God will lead me to love on exactly the right person (people) at just the right time.
All of this started earlier this month as I read the book of James during my devotions. I’ve read this book many times, but suddenly new things started jumping out at me. I suddenly understood what the actions that should accompany our faith really are. I realized that continuing to be fed (through church, Bible reading, etc) just makes you fat unless you work it off by sharing it with others. The author that sent me the book earlier this week is Jen Hatmaker, the book is titled 7. I’ll be posting my review of it soon, but if these thoughts of unrest are something that’s been causing you tension as well, go read James and go read 7 and then walk with me, talk with me so we can discover together how to BE Jesus to those who so desperately need Him.
